Dear Isaac.....you are now a camper.

Dear sweetheart.....i have been awake since 4am.  I am feeling sad.  I have been trying so hard to stay strong and happy for you and the experiences you are about to embark on.  But the feeling of loss is quite strong upon me in these early morning hours.  You are growing up my beautiful boy.  I am so proud of you and already miss you so much.  To think that for the first time ever in your life and mine, you won't be sleeping under our roof for 5 whole days!  I can hardly swallow that number....i really can't....even as i type i am tearing up and sad.  But perhaps you will realize the magnitude of what i have been realizing, and you will come back sooner?  I really don't know how you will react to this whole sleepaway camp experience....i remember waking up at camp in the middle of the night when i was younger, and feeling alone, and scared and i don't want that for you.  I always want you to feel safe.  But my mushy feelings aside, i am so happy for you...you are going to be amazing.....you will have a fantastic week...your brother and I will watch you from a distance....and i will think of you constantly....and pray consistently that you are with boys who are kind and fun and not mean.  Please make good choices, stay safe, don't roll out of the top bunk, try to eat a vegetable a day and don't buy too much tuck.  I love you so much and was hoping it wouldn't feel this hard....but it does....i miss you already...but have so much fun my dear.