Just a disclaimer on this post that i have written.....its hard for me to post about anything really substantial about my feelings or our lives in any other capacity other than general, because more people, other than who was originally intended to, is reading. So, this is for our records....so that i can read back when i am old, so that my kids can read when they are older, and have just little glimpses of what mom thought about during these times when they were young....and life was simple....and full of grace....but still had a few, albeit small, struggles. So....know that I am still the thankful, happy, loving woman that God has made me....but the last few weeks have been a little darker for me and i just want to note them....
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My biggest cheerleader sent me an email a few days ago that really encouraged me. I am unsure of what made her look so far back in my blog....but her timing and particular post choice was a real good reminder for me.....
The past 10 days or so have been strange for me....there are always a few days around the end of the month that i feel ultra sensitive, and there are times of the season that i feel lonely and unproductive....like the repetitive dance of laundry, meals, kids, cleanup and repeat just doesn't do it for me....that i long for more warmth and excitement!! {in that order! ;-)} Most of the time i am thankful that i HAVE clothes to fold, that i HAVE healthy kids to feed....its all perspective, isn't it? but some times of the month, my perspective gets wonky and i need to get refocused...... And there are times in the year that chris is completely gone! And i miss him....which really is the lonely part, because he is my other half and my best friend....So, all these 3 factors {lets not forget sickness!} landed in these last 10 days.....
I know that in the big scheme of life, my problems are so small and insignificant.....and there are many bigger ones that we will walk through....but at this moment, these are the ones and i am thankful to know that i am loved and that this too shall pass. And that if not for these days, you really don't appreciate the amazing days!!!
It's so nice to have family i can skype with everyday to make me feel closer to them, to have a certain friend that relates to each one of these issues at often the same times!! {thanks N....you make me feel normal when i am off the rails}...and to have a camp family who is here day in day out.....its good...looking forward to waffle wednesday to re-connect.
But back to my biggest cheerleader, where, at the end of the day....i know she loves me more than anything and that she tells me how proud she is of me.....she was the one who was chosen to be my mom, by God. So....here is the post she chose....and re-reading it was so timely.....Enjoy.
I was reading book called ' the me i want to be; becoming God's best version of you'. Only 2 pages in, i found two paragraphs that i loved;
'Every once in awhile you do something that surprises you and catch a glimpse of the person you were made to be. You say something inspirational at a meeting. You help a homeless man nobody else notices. You are patient with a rambunctious three-year old. (!!!!) You lose yourself in a piece of music. You fall in love. You express compassion. You stand up to a bully. You freely make a sacrificial gift. You fix an engine. You forgive an old hurt. (!!!!) You say something you would normally never say, or you keep from saying something you would normally blurt out.
As you do, you glimpse for a moment why God made you. Only God knows your full potential, and he is guiding you towards that best version of yourself all the time. He has many tools and is never in a hurry. That can be frustrating for us, but even in our frustration, God is at work to produce patience in us. He never gets discouraged by how long it takes, and he delights every time you grow.'
Sometimes i get frustrated by both (a) how busy we can get, and the next moment (b) how we can have absolutely nothing going on and i am so bored. I am learning that life is a series of 'moments'....if you don't like one moment, just hold on and wait, because the next moment may totally rock your world!!
And every moment has the potential to slowly bring you towards the person you really want to be.
....and the fog has officially lifted!!!
