Waterfalls.......

Suitcases are packed, insurance is purchased, kids are ready to go.....and Caleb was still beside my bed.  After dropping the kids off at the bus this morning, i really felt a nudging to take care of Caleb and let him go before we left.  It was a miserable morning outside....dark grey skies, rain and wind met us outside as we walked across the field together for the last time.

I yelled at Caleb to get the 5 geese that were off in the distance on the field.....suddenly, without warning...those geese flew away across the lake toward the mountain.

I paddled across the lake with my dog on my lap, with my eyes on my target: the beautiful waterfall that was coming off the mountain.

Normally, this paddle takes only minutes to cross the lake.  Today, well, it was wild.

The wind would pick up suddenly, and blow me sideways and get me so off course that it took me awhile to get back on track....as i got closer, the wind would actually spin the canoe in a circle and  i would be paddling backwards for awhile because that was the only way I could get a little bit closer.  Then the wind would die down, but the rain was falling, I was soaked.  As soon as i would think i was getting closer, i would get wisked away again.....Here was an analogy on my mind as I was being blown around this morning "THIS is what it felt like owning this dog!  We started out with such great intentions, that there were so many beautiful parts of our life with Caleb, he was fun, playful, sweet and then the winds would come and he would drive us so off course with his brutal barking and I would want to throw in the towel because i didn't think I could handle it anymore.....the rain would pelt us and it would be so miserable for awhile....but then everything would calm down and it was lovely again. 

I finally was able to get us to the mountain.......and to the waterfall.

I could just seee him in this waterfall....it was so beautiful. 

 Here he goes.....my pup is free.

 the cloud his ashes made looked like the color of his fur.

 As soon as he was set into the waterfall.....the rain literally stopped immediatly....

and this is what I looked up to. 

After talking and crying with the one person who would understand what I was doing, and go through this with me, I paddled back across the calm lake....and couldn't help but sing. 

I will never look at waterfalls the same......